Nobody saw you

Nobody saw you,
nobody at all

at 3am when
they woke again.

Nobody saw you
picking up the peas,
wiping up the beans,
emptying the laundry basket,
taking out the bins

again
and again.

Nobody saw the crust of toast
that fell out of your bra when you got undressed at night,
such a glamorous life

being mum

wiping noses
washing faces
trying to stay calm.

(for fuckssake)

Nobody saw you
when you were so bored of playing princess ninja pirate turtles
but you said, ‘ok,
just five more minutes,
just one more time,
just one more go,
just one more round’

and then said it again ten minutes later.

Nobody saw you
holding the toddler who wouldn’t be put down
but also wouldn’t go in the buggy
but also wanted to walk but only in the opposite direction
and ‘oh look!
a stick/discarded lolly/dog poo/pebble/cigarette butt/the sky!’

Nobody saw you holding the sick bucket in the night
or on the way back from school
nobody saw you holding a jacket,
a rucksack, a book bag, a sunhat,
a scooter, the baby, a half-eaten apple
and an art project made out of three cereal boxes taped together
and covered in glitter glue,

holding soft little hands at bed time,
holding angry little bodies still kicking and shouting,

holding it together,
holding on,

holding a hungry little head
to a boob as hard as concrete
in those early days
of chaos.

Nobody saw you winding the bobbin up
and winding it back again
and pointing to the ceiling
and pointing to the floor
and pointing to the window
and pointing to the door.

Nobody saw you when it was raining again
and the kids were sick
and you didn’t leave the house for three days.

Nobody saw that.

Nobody saw how many times you watched ‘The Gruffalo,’
on the third day,
how many times you read about what happened to igglepiggle’s blanket
or the one about the inappropriate pets
sent by the zoo.

Nobody saw you in the car
when you dropped the baby off for the first time
when you promised yourself you wouldn’t
but you cried all the way home
all the same.

Nobody saw when you were empty
but you gave something
but you made something
but you thought of a game
but you said sorry to a little face
for being cross, for snapping again.

I haven’t seen you for a while
we haven’t chatted for too long
but I when I see those lovely pictures of your kids
you post sometimes

I feel like I am seeing you,

the mum behind the kids
behind the babies
and the bumps
and the toddlers smiling into the camera

I see the wipes and the nappies and the games and the songs
I see the snot and the poo and the tantrums and the kisses
I see you putting little arms
into little cardigans
and brushing tiny teeth.

(whilst being kicked in the face)

Nobody sees all of the things that you do
all of the ways that you manage
and with questions like,
‘So when are you going back to work?’
You can end up feeling like one of the hardest jobs
you have or will ever have done
is simply reduced to dossing around at home.

Nobody sees you sometimes
but you are building something
that will never be torn down
a love that cannot be removed

and sometimes it is boring
and sometimes it is the worst
and sometimes you have never been happier

Nobody saw how much you gave
every day
every night
every 5am
every 5pm
every moment.

Have I ever told you
that I think
you are such a wonderful Mum?

Let’s get pissed together soon ok?


I kind of wrote this for a friend but I hope it means something for you too.

You can follow my blog on Facebook. Just click here to get to my page and then ‘like’ to stay updated.

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248 thoughts on “Nobody saw you

  1. Angela June 22, 2016 / 10:06 pm

    I’m now sat here with a silly little grin (and a permanently attached sleeping baby on my lap) after that – thank you 🙂

    • Like Real Life June 22, 2016 / 11:01 pm

      Oh bless you. I hope you have a good night with the baby X X X

      • Karen October 1, 2016 / 9:30 pm

        Absolutely the best thing I’ve read in a while.

        Thankyou x

    • O September 16, 2016 / 1:37 pm

      My eyes just welled up with tears when I read this. Thank you.

      • Michele September 20, 2016 / 3:03 pm

        Mine too! It’s all so true. X

      • Marie Adele October 5, 2016 / 9:03 am

        Ditto. I’m not even a mom and I couldn’t help but cry. So well done.

      • Lana Roberts October 13, 2016 / 7:22 pm

        Mine too. Lovely and true. Xx

    • laura October 7, 2016 / 6:34 pm

      i cried while reading this. chest shaking sobs. raising children can be isolating. you can lose yourself. you can feel unseen and unappreciated. reading this, i felt validated. when your kids are small, there are days and days when you might not feel any rewards for your labor, and then there are days and days when their little smiles are all you need to feel like it’s all worth it. but it’s still very often a hard and thankless job where the rewards come 20 years later when those babies are grown and they say they love you, they say they had a great childhood, and they like hanging out with you.

    • Jessica montoya October 7, 2016 / 11:51 pm

      You really touched my heart and gave me something more to
      Look forward to Thank you

  2. Lesley June 22, 2016 / 10:29 pm

    Beautiful, heartfelt words.

  3. Rochelle June 22, 2016 / 10:56 pm

    Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! Come to NZ so we can get pissed together sometime, eh???

  4. Hannah June 22, 2016 / 11:33 pm

    yes, yes, a thousand times yes. tears in my eyes. thank you so much for writing this. x Hannah

  5. Patricia Shepard June 23, 2016 / 1:08 am

    YOU saw you. Your babies saw you. And I see you, too. <3

      • Christine bainbrudge September 16, 2016 / 1:57 pm

        Realy is true made me realise how much our parents then us go through to look after our partner/kids didenth we do well ….

    • Cari July 2, 2016 / 4:34 am

      And I would like to add, God saw you.

      • Abi Thomas July 7, 2016 / 11:50 pm

        Yes! 😀

      • Buddhist Betty October 5, 2016 / 11:08 pm

        There’s always one… partypooper

    • Madeleine Irwin September 16, 2016 / 4:02 pm

      Perfect and beautiful response Patricia Shepard to a splendid poem – it’s gorgeous, thank you!

    • Julie December 19, 2016 / 2:34 am

      Well said, Patricia Shepard.

      I sing wind the bobbin up…. everyday. Thank you this is touched me xx

  6. Lulastic June 23, 2016 / 1:44 am

    This is so so so beautiful!

  7. Jen June 23, 2016 / 1:56 am

    Thank you for that. Thank you for seeing xx

  8. Jodie June 23, 2016 / 5:30 am

    Lovely and all so true! Motherhood is SO tough yet so rewarding…not all the time, but mostly 🙂

    • Like Real Life June 23, 2016 / 5:35 am

      Yes! So different from one moment to the next! Xxx

  9. Tess June 23, 2016 / 7:11 am

    Thank you, as I sit in PJs feeding the 10 month old and not going to work because the night was rough and this week it upsets my 3 year old too much to go to day care..so instead we’ll go to the park I guess..x

    • Natz June 29, 2016 / 9:43 am

      You’re a trooper 👌 just do whatever gets u thru the day 😊

  10. Tess June 23, 2016 / 7:17 am

    Thank you. As I sit in my PJs not going to work because the night was rough with my 10month old and the 3 great old had decided he’d much rather not go to day care. And the mum guilt has taken over…So I guess we’ll go to the park instead ..

    • Like Real Life June 23, 2016 / 7:30 am

      Please don’t let the mum guilt get to you. I hope you have an easier day than yesterday. I suggest CBeebies X X X

  11. Sarah van der Wielen June 23, 2016 / 8:38 am

    I had tears in my eyes reading this. How wonderful to be acknowledged. What we Mums do is so incredibly valuable and so very challenging and rewarding. Thanks you for sharing this with us.

    • Like Real Life June 23, 2016 / 11:34 am

      Yes, such a complicated mix and so valuable. Thanks for your lovely comment X

      • Jaimie roberts June 24, 2016 / 7:04 pm

        I have tears too! Reading this made me reflect on all the components of being a mummy and how so many of them do go unnoticed – even by the daddies! Defo the hardest job EVER!

        • Kirsty June 26, 2016 / 12:39 am

          Yep i agree. So many things the daddys don’t see. Yet we would never explain them- in fact is is boring to list. But the time flies and the jobs take up time. So good to be seen.

  12. Juliette joyce felton June 23, 2016 / 9:05 am

    I’m a mum my 2 babies are 35 and 32 , I have 4 grandchildren aged 16 , 14 , 5 and 4, I also a writer , yr piece has reduced me to tears thanku for sharing it x

    • Like Real Life June 23, 2016 / 11:35 am

      So glad this meant something to you X

  13. Rebecca June 23, 2016 / 9:35 am

    Thank you. Your lovely words made me cry into my coffee (but silently so it doesn’t wake the baby before I get to drink it!) xxx

  14. Helen June 23, 2016 / 9:50 am

    Just made me tear up reading this. Really lovely, and gave me a much needed boost this morning. Thank you.

    • Like Real Life June 23, 2016 / 11:36 am

      So glad this gave you a little boost X

  15. Kat June 23, 2016 / 10:08 am

    I was always looked upon as the smart one in my family. The only one to go to University, now I feel like I’m the failure because I’m a stay at home mum. The amount of times I get asked “when are you going back to work?”‘is crazy. Up to 7 times a week is not unusual. But it’s so difficult to find a job that fits in with my daughters kinder hours and a shift-working husband. I feel like a cancer on society when I have to embarrassingly state “Nothing” when asked what I do for work. So that line in your poem was so helpful. I know it’s not “nothing” but I can’t really get into what I actually do all day when I know the question really is do I have a paying job. I’m a mum and it’s all that I am now. It doesn’t matter what I’ve studied or what jobs I’ve had in the past, I’m a mum and that’s all. No pats on the back or gold stars for that and sometimes we just need to be told ‘great job!’ :'(

    • Like Real Life June 23, 2016 / 11:40 am

      Yes, motherhood is so, so undervalued. It is harder work than being at ‘work’ that’s for sure. Mums do so much for society. What if we just stopped; stopped having children, stopped caring for them? Then we’d be in big trouble as a society. You are not a failure for being a stay at home mum but understand that feeling. I feel like that sometimes too. Lots of love to you xxx

    • Dorcas June 24, 2016 / 8:21 am

      Staying home to raise you children is a wonderful thing to do. I worked while raising mine but it was only out of necessity…. Whatever you decide make your peace with it and try hard not to let thoughtless people ruin it for you. Perhaps your doing exactly what they want to do! There are no hard and fast rules about staying home or working, it is about what you do that is best for your family! Next time you are asked what you do for work, just tell them that you are preparing the next to generation to take their place in society. Don’t ever be embarrassed! Your work is mega important and mums everywhere salute you. Now what’s that you feel? It’s a pat on the back from me! Great job!!!

      • Heidi June 30, 2016 / 9:31 pm

        I really needed to hear this today…. Thank you..

      • Cheryl Hopkins September 11, 2016 / 8:47 am

        Wow sounds like my life. I too stayed home until my youngest of five started school. I worked three days a week as well. Our day started at six with four girls under two years apart, that all had very long hair to be plaited & one slow little boy to get ready for school, plus myself off to work by 8am. These days more than made up for five days a week. I at first felt proud that I was back in the work force contributing to our finances, until all the comments about ONLY work part time came. One man actually asked me one day as I was preparing his invoice, if I was satisfied only working part time & what did I do with my days off as his wife works umpteen hours a week😟 We all have our own journey & shouldn’t judge another until we’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

    • Tracie June 24, 2016 / 7:23 pm

      Kat, I think you are doing the most valuable work you will ever do, keep going and be proud of staying home to devote your time to your little ones.

    • Dru June 25, 2016 / 8:01 am

      KAT, huney you tell those people your job title is Domestic Engineer. Then they can kiss your bumm. Hehe. Keep taking care of those babies to many of our children are raised by daycare providers. Cherish every moment cause those moments are to soon gone.

    • Pam June 25, 2016 / 12:19 pm

      “Stay at home Mum” should be made an official occupation. Sadly it is rarely recognised as a source of income. The value of it is revealed when the children grow up and make their way in the big wide world.
      Stay at home Mums provide their children with values, appreciation, manners and morals NO child care facility I have seen can provide.
      Stay at home Mums do a great job and should NEVER feel guilty for not deserting their children to chase the might $$.

    • Lara June 25, 2016 / 12:22 pm

      Kat you are doing an amazing job been a parent it’s not nothing. You are helping to raise a child it’s a hard job but so undervalued by society these days.

    • Frances Allden June 26, 2016 / 4:56 am

      Makes me so sad to read this Kat. Being a MOM is the most important job there is, when you think about it. And the years when we CAN be a mom are so fleeting.

    • Viv June 26, 2016 / 7:05 am

      Dear Kat,
      I felt the same. I got a Degree from Oxford Uni, was a Power Station Manager at 27…..the high flier, the going to great heights girl. But I wasn’t really happy. When I had Thomas 17 years ago, I thought I’d go back part-time, but I chose to stay home. For 15 years! Ben and Sophie arrived too. ‘What a waste’ was always there in people’s mind. Went to a reunion at Uni a couple of years ago, was very anxious about that question ‘so what do you do?’ Just beforehand saw a Facebook video about a job interview for a mum that put it into context. When asked at the reunion, I explained my job in huge detail – developing individuals to attain their dreams, coaching and supporting, multi skilled flexible working etc etc, 24 hrs a day. It was a bit cheeky, but several people listened and then said, so what is the job title? Mum. My pat on the back is that Thomas is now thinking about what is next for him, applying to Unis, appreciating what his parents have done and are doing for him. I have 3 amazing, happy children who have a strong family bond and will go on to their own great things. whatever they choose as their work, I hope they have a family to love and have fun with. Writing the post has boosted me after a really tough family week, and helped to pick me up ready for next week. Thank you.

    • Juana June 28, 2016 / 7:06 am

      This is so so true.

      The job of a mother is just so unimportant to do many, as if it is the easiest job out there. It feels very devaluing for people to dismiss you as ‘just staying home’ as if it takes nothing at all to be with children all day.

    • Jilly June 30, 2016 / 2:32 pm

      Hi Kat,
      You’re doing the most important job on the planet.
      And the very best job for your kids.

      No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

      I’m a Mum of two (now) adult daughters, who gave them something that no one else could ever match – my time.

      It’s worth it. Keep going. Best wishes.

    • Madeleine July 2, 2016 / 3:53 am

      I hear you. Similar situation and feeling. Plus my husband’s job requires that we move every few years. Being an expat makes it even harder to find and define my own role and space, as I’m too busy accommodating everybody’s needs and starting from scratch every time. I still believe I’ll go back to work “soon”… As soon as our last son (two months old!) grows a bit. Don’t settle for anything that doesn’t make you happy! Your family needs a happy mum 🙂

    • Jayne Claire July 8, 2016 / 5:05 am

      I feel you girl.. N can encourage you that you doing the most important job in this world has to offer “being A *MOM*
      I was in the same boat and stayed home bringing up my son. Now a young man who tells me thank you mummy for being there when I got home from school and attending to me. God bless you n be encouraged. 😍

    • Olive Mc Cabe August 3, 2016 / 12:38 am

      nothing ,its the most important
      job you will ever have ,and the most rewarding ,i wouldn’t have missed a day of it . That feeling when you are standing at the school gates and your child’s eyes meets yours the smile on their face when they find you . If i could freeze time it would be when they were very young before the world could hurt them ,be unkind steal their innocence ,the one job i had to get right .

    • Rosemary September 10, 2016 / 8:26 am

      You are doing the most important job in the world, there is no university course or training for it. Don’t let those people make you feel less of a person. My 2 boys are now 33 & 31 and I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with them. Those earlier years are all too short, enjoy them while you can. Good luck.

    • Sheila Webber September 11, 2016 / 9:44 pm

      I went through it all. It was 10 years before my second child moved on to junior school and I could find a part time job. I had to start at the bottom again as a filing clerk and work my way up. But in the end it was worth it, both financially and mentally to be a person with your own needs too.
      In due course my son gained his apprenticeship, my daughter her nursing career, and my life was full I made the best decisions I could at the time and lived with them. That is all you can do Trust in yourself and have faith that you are doing your best to be a good mother and a real person at the same time. That is not failure, it is common sense.
      I hope this helps.

    • Karen September 13, 2016 / 9:08 pm

      My crusade is to correct people when they use the word ‘work’ without a descriptor:
      “Do you mean: Paid work? “Do you mean: Waged work? If you mean work, I am working already.”
      My baby is almost 27, and I won’t forget how suddenly women pushing strollers were heroes, and the word ‘work’ was blown open by a million billion bundles of life being made and cared for and by my rage at the pretending, erasing, wasting language of the economics of nations.

    • Janet Whyte September 16, 2016 / 8:58 am

      Your job is being a mum, your cv should include the following duties.
      Teacher, nurse, cleaner, cook, preschool teacher and the many other duties you have to attend to.
      Next time someone asks ‘when are you going back to work’ tell them you are working just at different things now. Never feel put down because you are a stay at home parent. Your doing a pretty hard job, one that comes without training and your doing a great job.

    • Pamela October 6, 2016 / 11:45 pm

      As a single woman who never got to have children, let me tell you that I admire and am in awe of mothers who are able to take care off their children while either being a stay at home mom or a mom who works. I don’t for one second believe it is easy. I’m not sure I could have done it without feeling like I was failing every day.
      I applaud the moms!

    • Susan October 8, 2016 / 11:35 am

      I read your comment and just want you to know from a retired early years teacher and a Grandma that you should on no account feel a failure for doing the most important job in the world. I feel that Mums are made to feel guilty whatever they do but children benefit most from spending their early years with Mum or Dad if at all possible. I know every body isn’t in a position to stay at home but if you are make the most of it because your little one will fly the nest before you can blink. Enjoy your time together.

  16. Gemma June 23, 2016 / 10:25 am

    I think of my darling mother when reading this. A mother to 12 children- in the earlier days with no washing machine- no central heating – she would be up at 6:00am to light a coal fire to warm the living room for her children. Dad had usually left for work by the time we got up! They never claimed benefits until pensioners- always kept us & the house spotless. Then when the youngest was at school- went out to work when she should be enjoying a little respite! Nobody sees you– but we all know what it takes & how much of yourself you give as a parent. It is a life we choose so make every minute count! They won’t be babies for long 😘❌❌❌

    • Like Real Life June 23, 2016 / 11:42 am

      Your mother sounds amazing. I struggle with two children!! X

    • Lara June 25, 2016 / 12:25 pm

      Your mother really sounds amazing I have 5 kids and it’s work no idea how I would cope no appliances. Even harder now my you 22 week old has health issues he was prem xx

    • Helen June 27, 2016 / 11:54 am

      I had my 12th child 3 weeks ago.. girl number 9!!

      My house is a bear pit at the moment.. we just have too much stuff nowadays.. the beasties are all fed and watered have matching socks and hair brushed.. It is fairly manic in here!!

      I wouldn’t swap it for the world.. as for ‘job’ … chief slave, babywasher and general dogsbody!.. but how often do we say ‘just’ a mum??

      I have great respect for working mums who juggle it all and stay sane, and the dads that do it all too.. some are wonderful!

      • Nerina Wayland September 10, 2016 / 12:50 pm

        Wow, so true & beautifully written….

        Helen, thanks for the reference to working mums…

        I am a part time working mum, out of necessity. I used to work Weds to Fri, but after my youngest started in reception, my employer agreed I could work school hours, which was great, as no more reliance on a child minder. It is becoming more important now, perhaps more than ever with my eldest aiming to go to a grammar school, being there to offer my support and to scratch the old grey cells!!! Just her best will be just fine for me….but all the work & prep needed, no child minder can help with what we as mums do out of love & just wanting the best for our kids.

        I get so fed up when I try to leave “early” or rather “on time” & end up staying later with a quick call to a friend to fetch the kids. I am very lucky as I have a great support network of friends & family & a great boss. However, I sometimes literally wish I could punch the lights out of the next person that says (without kids) “oh you are part time, I wish I could work those hours!!” I feel like going, “Yes well let’s swap, why don’t you try being me for the day with all I have to do before I even get to work! (let alone actually working) no lunch break because I don’t “work” a full day, then literally running to the car, so I’m not late for pick up & then the clubs/ tea/ washing/homework/ reading/refereeing/ bedtime etc etc… before finally getting some “me” time about 10pm when I decide to watch catch up tv but annoyingly fall asleep….”

        Would I swap my life??? Not for this world, I really want to be there for my kids….but the amount of things I miss out on, as schools often give little notice…major guilt trip time. The kids are great as they know I try & I am definitely there for the important milestones. I take my hat off to mums that are able to always be there for their kids. No job can be more important, you all do an utterly amazing job….yes it often goes unnoticed, but the difference made to society is something that cannot be measured…..

        The main difference though is to our children as time is far more precious than any jewel in this world or any amount of money……money cannot buy love & time just passes too quickly……

        Much love to all you gorgeous mums out there. BE PROUD ❤

  17. Emily June 23, 2016 / 11:07 am

    This is so unbelievably lovely and sums up the experience of caring for small children perfectly. I am in tears. Happy tear…..I think.

  18. Kim McAlister June 23, 2016 / 11:26 am

    I am sharing this with my friends!! Thanks for writing it!!

    • Like Real Life June 23, 2016 / 11:42 am

      Thank you for sharing my blog. So glad it has resonated with you X

  19. Your Dad June 23, 2016 / 12:13 pm

    What an amazing Poet, Mum, Wife, Friend, Daughter, Grand-daughter, sister, Chef, Financial Controller, you are, and an amazing inspiration to those like you….

  20. Annie June 23, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    I loved reading this! I’m so glad my friend, Justy shared it onto her Facebook page. Encapsulates motherhood, beautifully.

  21. Nadia June 23, 2016 / 12:24 pm

    Brilliantly written!!!
    If only someone saw exactly what the f*** we did!!!!
    Loved every line of this xxx

  22. Natalie Ruffell June 23, 2016 / 1:13 pm

    Just excellent, motherhood in a capsule & lovely not to feel alone in such circumstances. Perked me up on a very dark day, thank you xxx

  23. Abi June 23, 2016 / 1:48 pm

    Wonderfully written and so true! Brought tears to my eyes! Thank you xx

  24. Emma June 23, 2016 / 4:23 pm

    One of the loveliest things I’ve read in a long long time. Thank you xxx

  25. Renee June 23, 2016 / 5:50 pm

    Wow! And a big thank you. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months so I already knew you “got it” but this piece just really hits home. I will read it over and over when I’m not feeling so great about my mommying skills. Thank you for “seeing” all of us and for your fantastic site.

  26. Sera June 23, 2016 / 7:51 pm

    So so beautiful, it’s nice to know that I am not the only one that finds it tough as a mother. I have a 6 and 7 yr old, I work full time and feel guilty all the time as I don’t get to spend a lot of time with them. This makes me proud to be a mum..am doing ok judginh by this piece. Thank you,xx

    • Elizabeth Barton June 24, 2016 / 9:13 pm

      I think it’s so hard for us, women are judged as lazy and work shy if they decide to be homemakers but if they decide to work whilst raising their children they also get judged …it just seems so unfair!

  27. Lauren June 24, 2016 / 12:01 am

    Wow!! Actually brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes you don’t see it until someone else says it, then you realise your not the only one! Thank you xx

  28. Laura June 24, 2016 / 8:10 am

    Well that got me blubbering – my son is 3 weeks old! Thankyou, that was beautifully written

  29. NB June 24, 2016 / 11:29 am

    *TEARS*

    Thank you so much for this beautiful piece of writing. It resonates with me so much and I really needed to be reminded of the worth of what I do, after a rough couple of weeks. I’m going to hug my babies now and try not be so hard on myself. Xo

  30. Kim June 24, 2016 / 1:52 pm

    Thank you I don’t think there was a sentence that I didn’t relate to. Actually was kicked in the face tonight while drying my 16 month old.
    She is frustrating and perfect all at the same time lol

  31. Sarah June 24, 2016 / 3:41 pm

    Being a mother of 4 children everyone word you said is my life, we all get to the point where it feels like Groundhog Day, but after reading what you wrote I now realise, I do work hard and I do do a good job so all the mothers there need to give ourselves a pat on the back. Many thanks for your beautiful words.

  32. Nat Halfpenny June 24, 2016 / 4:19 pm

    True word!
    I see you gurl!

  33. Erica June 24, 2016 / 4:28 pm

    Ack
    Now sitting here crying in my cubicle.
    Thanks for seeing us.

  34. edelle nolan June 24, 2016 / 5:32 pm

    I love this so much

  35. Nicola June 24, 2016 / 7:17 pm

    Lovely, needed to read that!

  36. Tarquilla June 24, 2016 / 7:26 pm

    So lovely, thank you for sharing. Mine are bigger now but I remember those times so well.

  37. boysmum June 24, 2016 / 7:36 pm

    as a mum to teenagers, this really resonates with me…..I should now have a wonderful career with all this time to myself, but I gave up the chance when the teens were babies so I could stay at home…now I sometimes wonder why an intelligent woman like myself isn’t running some big company and commanding respect from all around her…then I remember, someone had to raise the kids and be at the school gates and go the walks in the rain and do the laundry…

    thanks for speaking for us all xx

  38. Elizabeth Barton June 24, 2016 / 9:11 pm

    This is just beautiful! I’m going to print out and stick it by my bed! I have a wonderful, gorgeous six month old, who I’m so grateful for (there was a time when it seemed it wouldn’t happen) and I adore her. However, she’s so sharp and gets bored of whatever she’s doing really quickly (even the blesséd CBeebies doesn’t hold her attention for too long) so my home is a disaster zone (seriously, I think the Red Cross are sending me a welfare package!). She’s also started weaning, which is lovely,but it’s yet another thing I have to organise and plan and I have been really feeling like I’m failing lately at mummyhood, reading this has really cheered me up and reminded me that I’m not alone and everything I’m doing is so worth it! Thank you for sharing!

  39. Michelle Poe June 24, 2016 / 10:01 pm

    This was beautiful. I teared up then laughed out loud for the last line. Thank you.

  40. Andrea Durrant June 24, 2016 / 10:20 pm

    I have 4 boys 10, 8, 6, and 2. No one has ever really understood. I feel that you have just summed up the last 10 years of my life! The snot, the poo, the tantrums, winding the bobbin up and down… And up and down again! Working, coping, tears and the nights! Thank you for this, it feels that someone recognises the whole beautiful, but difficult mishmash that motherhood is! X

  41. Rocio June 25, 2016 / 2:03 am

    Thank you for putting into words so perfectly how I feel! I have two boys under two years ( 9 months and 23 months), and it is so hard as I don’t have any family close to help me and nobody seem to understand that being on maternity leave is not a holiday! Including my husband, that now we are in the process of separating because he could not bare the fact that while being on maternity leave I was not earning as much money as when I was “working”, and that was not enough for him. I feel so isolated and undervalued, but reading this gave me hope tonight, that someone out there knows how I feel. Massive thank you!!!

    • Like Real Life June 25, 2016 / 4:35 am

      I am so sorry for what you are going through. You deserve to be supported at the time not totally undervalued. I’m glad this helped a little. I really believe that all these little things that you do for your boys adds up to an incredible kind of love, and it’s a love that they will carry for the rest of their lives. X X X

  42. Breharne June 25, 2016 / 5:28 am

    A friend of mine sent me a link to this post because it reminded her of my latest blog post. This was truly beautiful, I’m typing through tear filled eyes. Not because I am sad, because I know I am not the only one that feels like this.
    Thank you.

  43. Jess June 25, 2016 / 7:07 am

    You have put us moms feeling into those beautiful words. I had tears in my eyes reading them especially those words in brackets……..thanx for sharing.

  44. Marianna June 25, 2016 / 9:26 am

    Thank you for the words. . . .tears pushed through my eyes reading your words.
    I see you. . . Xxx

  45. Jacky June 25, 2016 / 10:46 am

    I am a Nanna, and can still relate to all that you’ve written. I have 4 beautiful daughters, who all now have kids of their own, and I know they too go through these sorts of things everyday. People staring because the 2 year old wants you to buy ‘the other’ loaf of bread and chucks the biggest screaming, kicking, wobbly on record, just to show her displeasure. 😊 Yes, it will get easier, but not for a long time. Be kind to yourselves, all of you beautiful mums of young children.

  46. Nadine Richardson June 25, 2016 / 11:24 am

    Crying here in Bondi…I was even before this arrived in my inbox…. My son is 14 and is out again and no longer needs his mum in that way any more.

    It’s the hardest thing to let go and I’m surprised by my grief considering how much presence I’ve given to motherhood and how much freedom to my boy. Perhaps I cry more because I remember all the love cuddles and kneeling down to play pick up or tickle…All I gave to him is now inside him…My job is done. I’m empty alone and also happy that I got to be my sons mum.

    • Vicki July 1, 2016 / 3:15 pm

      Perfectly said. We need a sequel to the mama love that continues after they are grown! ❤️

    • Rebecca Oliver September 10, 2016 / 11:19 am

      my son will be 12 next week and this point is coming all to quick. We not quite there yet but really do understand the emotions you are feeling. I also have completely enjoyed every minute of bringing up my son even though i did have to work pretty much throughout. I was lucky though as grandparents looked after him if me or his dad was at work, but my work have been so good that i have missed very little of his life.

  47. Hayley June 25, 2016 / 11:44 am

    Love this! So beautifully written X

  48. Paula June 25, 2016 / 12:09 pm

    Oh that’s brought tears to my eyes, not sure if that’s because I spent last night holding the sick bucket….. After the trip to the dustbin and the garden hose, because my gorgeous girl (10yrs) woke whilst throwing up and I just couldn’t save our favourite duvet cover and the bucket was full and she was in the bathroom and it was the day after 9yr daughters birthday and there is new stuff strewn across the floor which…. I will stop there, but thank you, you also made me smile 😊

  49. Themotherhubblog June 25, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    This is absolutely lovely . Encapsulates the whole thing perfectly .

  50. Amanda Jaggard June 25, 2016 / 1:51 pm

    I now have tears running down my face. This is such a beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing.

  51. Pat June 25, 2016 / 2:02 pm

    58 year old crying here. My sons of 31,30,26 and 21 no longer want or need me.
    How I miss the days that they were ‘mine’
    It goes by so fast. Treasure it. x

  52. lyn June 25, 2016 / 2:32 pm

    Thank you for writing this. Just today I got my “get out of jail free” for only half a day and was staring at the sea with my sister and thinking that I’m a lousy mum because I enjoy being away from the kids so damn much.

    But it’s not entirely true that no one sees all of this. You see it, your kids see it, GOD sees it. Because he sees everything. And that is good enough, no?

  53. Lisa June 25, 2016 / 4:00 pm

    What a wonderful piece of writing of how us mums feel on a day to day basis we can all resignate with . As a mum of 2 boys 19 and 23 it is one of the most hardest jobs in the world , I stayed at home and had a little work from home job at the time . I have not one regret giving up a career for 17 years and bringing my own children up they have turned out lovely respectable men. Don’t feel guilty about being or not being with your children if you have to go back to work . Your doing a fantastic job .

  54. Catherine June 25, 2016 / 7:07 pm

    Thank you for not letting me forget all the love I’ve been building with my 4 year old, I’m crying and laughing at the same time x

  55. Susannah Garland June 25, 2016 / 7:07 pm

    It seems like it will never end, but one day, you will look to see a handsome son, or a beautiful daughter, those gangly spotty awkward years evaporated, the chrysalis suddenly becomes a beautiful butterfly. Your reward after those seemingly never ending broken nights and endlessly being patient days, will be an inner pride and admiration in the children you have raised, as they grow and take on life’s responsibilities. There will still be highs and lows, there always are. They will at times still need you, just as you will from time to time need them. If you are fortunate, they will give you back the love you gave them. Life isn’t perfect, from the cradle to the grave. But the process begins again, the celebration of birth, grandchildren, and those for whom we cared, become the carers. Then they will understand, and hopefully one day, feel admiration for their own butterflies.

  56. jude June 25, 2016 / 7:38 pm

    Not only am I seeing you but I’m holding your hand……..along with a thousand other beautiful moms. I salute you all.

  57. Christina Wiseman June 25, 2016 / 8:21 pm

    Absolutely 100 percent perfectly said xx

  58. Sheila June 25, 2016 / 9:48 pm

    I love being a Mam but get asked about a real job all the time. My eldest is grown up and my youngest is 9 (I have 4) and sometimes it feels like my whole life is parenting. Your post says it how it is and reminds me how lucky I am. Thanks for spelling it out.

  59. Bettina Stull June 26, 2016 / 3:06 am

    I needed this….as I sit here reflecting about my day with my two boys, I tare my self apart. How I should have been MORE attentive, how much MORE patience I should have had, how I shouldn’t have said NO that many times, how many “mom fails” occured today…..
    THANK YOU!
    Recognition from a mom I don’t even know, made me feel like Super mom again!
    THANK YOU!

  60. Catherine Smith June 26, 2016 / 1:29 pm

    Lives goes by so fast treasure every minute they will all be flown away so fast Love Luck Laughter

  61. Pat June 26, 2016 / 5:00 pm

    I’m a Nana five times over now…..but I remember the days in your writing like it was yesterday! Spot on…..and read with tears clouding my eyes!

  62. Melea June 26, 2016 / 5:39 pm

    As an early childhood educator and a single mother this writing resonated deeply with me. Ive reposted it a couple of times on educators pages to remind them how VITAL our roles can be to the diverse families we serve. I know for myself Early Childhood Education and Care virtually saved my sanity. Parents in those early years need and deserve unlimited support but get very little. A happy mother is a happy child. Im so passionate about this , its why I joined the sector.

  63. Ali June 26, 2016 / 7:04 pm

    So lovely. My 5 children and step children are between 21 and 28 now. They always need you and we’re having a particularly rough time with a couple of them at the moment. This made me cry and yearn for those days when although it was relentless they had problems that I could solve. Treasure these times, however hard. x

  64. Three is the New Two June 26, 2016 / 10:45 pm

    We’re not looking for medals or awards. We just need someone to go ‘yep, I know. I understand’.

  65. Deborah Nicholson June 26, 2016 / 11:02 pm

    that was so lovely to read i have been through them days feeling just like that i had 3 kids brought them up as a single mother after my divorce now they are grown up with there own kids i don,t see them very often but i know they are happy i miss them so much

  66. Tor Cotton June 26, 2016 / 11:26 pm

    Repeat,repeat, repeat and yet I wouldn’t change a thing. Not one thing even if they are the making and the breaking of me, all four of them. They fill my heart every single day…

  67. Margaret Moore June 27, 2016 / 7:39 am

    I’m a mum of four all grown up now with kids if their own…reading that took me straight back…..also my youngest has just moved back home with her 5yr old and I am helping my daughter with her daughter now doing it again with my grandaughter…having read the joys and tribulations of motherhood brought tears to my eyes.. Beautiful

  68. Lisa June 27, 2016 / 6:07 pm

    Really well writen, bravo 👏😊

  69. Colette June 28, 2016 / 3:11 am

    Love

  70. Sylvia Adams June 28, 2016 / 7:13 am

    Made me cry…so very true and I admire my daughter every day whilst she juggles her two young children, a job and all the hassles that government departments keep throwing at her. If only LOVE could pay bills on time and mend broken hearts. Lovely poem, thanks for sharing. A Very proud Mother and Grandmother.xxx

  71. Julie Ross June 28, 2016 / 1:06 pm

    You know it’s all been worthwhile – when you are sent this link by your 39 year old baby who is in the middle of all this chaos and love and doubt and joy with your little grandchildren – and we both have tears of love in our eyes for the past, the present and the future.

    We who have shared the experience see you and bless the magnificent job you are doing!

  72. Margaret Gallagher June 28, 2016 / 1:47 pm

    This is beautiful
    Perfect depiction of family life

  73. Melissa Watts June 29, 2016 / 1:05 am

    Bawling my eyes out – beautiful

  74. Mary mitchell June 29, 2016 / 2:49 am

    It’s time for my boy to leave home for a new life, education and opportunities. As I read your words and ponder over them….I’m seized with this overwhelming sense of emptiness and despondency. All my life I devoted to him and now he doesn’t need me 24×7. How do I cap this feeling of ” uselessness” along with being super happy that he is entering a new phase in his life.
    Selfishly lonely mom

    • Carolyn September 7, 2016 / 7:15 am

      Try to find your joy in the things he will accomplish, now. It is all thanks to the years of love and preparation that you have given of yourself to him. Next, find something for you to do. Perhaps volunteering for an organization you have a passion for.

  75. Edith June 29, 2016 / 11:48 am

    You’ve just made me cry!

  76. Samantha Devanney June 29, 2016 / 10:41 pm

    and im in tears ❤❤

  77. Shraddha June 30, 2016 / 12:49 am

    I loved your poem so much. I can see how beautiful and sensitive human being you are by reading your poem. I am a mum of 2. We all are going through tough times every now and then but to give ourselves pat on back is also our job. We know we all mums are doing fabulous job and its not small. I know nobody see you is the part of your poem but your emotions and your care is adding lifelong bond to your little one. They can see you, feel you, sense you. Rewards will be after several years but they will be sweet for sure. Good luck to all of us.

  78. Marion cairns June 30, 2016 / 8:40 am

    To Charlotte now a mum herself knows about everything that is written here.
    Yes lets get together really soon xxx

  79. Hilda June 30, 2016 / 9:33 am

    I soooo needed this today. Thank you!! Thank you!!! ❤️

  80. Amy Wright June 30, 2016 / 9:32 pm

    Love this, thank you! Xx

  81. Rachel King June 30, 2016 / 9:44 pm

    Thank you so much for writing this and making it public. Us moms need reminders like this, that what we do matters. I often feel like I’m the only one reminding myself the good I do for my family. My children are my legacy.

  82. Judy Brewer July 1, 2016 / 2:03 pm

    Oh how sweet, memories starting 41 years ago and I still love it when he brings me his hurts and joys, cries occasionally on my shoulder and calls me Mom and says I love you at the end of each phone call. We Moms (Mums) need to support each other as best we can. It is a sisterhood of motherhood!

  83. Elizeth July 2, 2016 / 5:15 am

    Thank you

  84. Natasha July 2, 2016 / 8:47 pm

    Thanks so much for this, every word so true! Tears in my eyes with snot filled baby stuck to me (poor baba😔)

  85. jenny croston July 3, 2016 / 4:24 am

    beautiful – I’m wiping tears and snot now too (from my face )

  86. Iona July 3, 2016 / 10:17 pm

    This made me cry. Sometimes it is the worst. Sometimes I have never been happier. But this is the most important, the most worthwhile and the most rewarding job I have ever done. Thank you for seeing us. <3

  87. Angie July 6, 2016 / 9:26 pm

    It’s 46 years since this was my world…and it resonates so strongly with me still. A huge ‘you are wonderful’ to all the mums out there who just keep on, keeping on going, with love in their hearts and jam in their hair!

  88. clare July 7, 2016 / 11:56 am

    After a day when being a mum feels like a really thankless task this has made me feel a bit better – that it isnt a lost cause

  89. Breana July 7, 2016 / 1:34 pm

    This is wonderful! My kids are past the eeally difficult and lovely baby stages, but I remember and this made me smile.

  90. Natasha July 7, 2016 / 2:15 pm

    Nailed it x

  91. Jayne Claire July 8, 2016 / 5:07 am

    Thank you for sharing what is in all out hearts. Take heart you doing the best job in the world. Keep writing you good

  92. Theresa July 8, 2016 / 5:49 am

    A wonderful piece, made me tear oh sweet sometimes hurtful motherhood

  93. Paul Sheldrake July 8, 2016 / 8:06 am

    The pay is not very good but the rewards are huge. Some people don’t think being a mother is like having a “real job”, perhaps those people should read this. Loved it, loved my mother.

  94. Amanda July 8, 2016 / 10:53 am

    That was beautiful. Thank you <3

  95. louise July 8, 2016 / 5:06 pm

    Beautiful, inspiring and empowering. We all need time to take stock sometimes in our busy lifes when so much is expected of us as women and mothers. This touched my heart and and made me feel proud and grateful to be a mummy and a woman. X

  96. Jo July 8, 2016 / 9:54 pm

    Ach, just so right. Really enjoyed this-thanks!

  97. Rosie July 10, 2016 / 1:16 am

    “Nobody sees you sometimes
    but you are building something
    that will never be torn down
    a love that cannot be removed”

    I love this. Perfect words. Thank you!!

  98. Kirstie July 10, 2016 / 10:25 am

    My 2 have been watching the same series (Shezow) on Netflix during every minute of TV time for the past 2 weeks. This morning they argued for 5 mins about wanting to watch different things, during which time big (5yrs) threw a head fit, went full-blown Kevin (of “and Perry” fame) stomped around the house shouting and declaring how “UNFAAAAAIIIIRRRR” life is, before announcing that yeah, she would really like to watch Shezow too, actually. Then small (3yrs) threw an empty fruit shoot bottle at me, announcing she “don’t want you!!” when I made her breakfast. After which she dressed as a cat and then came in for a big snuggle. It goes from being the worst, hardest, most stressful job in the world, to being the absolute best. Thanks for writing this, even though you made me blub!! Now gonna give my girls a massive cuddle and kisses, though I will probably be rewarded with an elbow or two in the boobs!! 😂💜

  99. Maaike July 10, 2016 / 8:49 pm

    Thank you. This made me cry. Because I feel like a nobody sometimes. I still hate the question ‘And what do you do?’. Having a son and one baby on the way I wouldn’t trade it for the world though. I love being able to see him grow up. Although it is so hard sometimes. Toddlers…
    Thank you for noticing me. Thank you.
    Hug from The Netherlands

  100. Susan Leonard July 10, 2016 / 9:23 pm

    You are a rock star 🙂

    I have four babies, 9, 12, 14, 16 but I remember those days. I worked full time from home and was a full time mom. I worked that way until our oldest started kindergarten and then I quit my job (because financially, I finally could) and people thought I was crazy. “Won’t you be bored?” Um no….I won’t! We had three kids at the time (6, 4, 2) and we wanted to add the 4th! Some days I really miss the baby/toddler times. They are good memories and I loved it. I would have another one today if I could but that time has passed so I look forward to helping them grow. It’s not easy but not as bad as everyone tried to portray the teen years. Maybe we’re just lucky but I wouldn’t change a thing.

    Maybe the world didn’t see you do all the things you wrote about (the toast in the bra made me laugh, that was perfect!) but your kids did and at the end of the day, that’s what mattered to me. They know what I did for them and more importantly…what I did WITH them. You played princess ninja and so much more! You are fantastic!

    XO

  101. Serina July 11, 2016 / 3:59 am

    I wld love for u to know I voted for u and I think this is the MOST WONDERFULLY AMAZINGLY MOST HEART TOUCHING! Thank you so much for sharing! I really needed to read this right now in this struggle in my life!

  102. Clare July 13, 2016 / 1:16 pm

    Great Blog! I am going to share it on my Facebook page for my fellow blog followers to read! So many hours behind closed doors that no one see. The tiring times, the hard times, the messy times, the gross times, the not picture perfect times. As parents we do our best. Your doing a great job x

  103. Mary White July 13, 2016 / 5:34 pm

    What a lovely truthful warts & all article obviously written by an honest hard working mom. There is no higher calling I think that to raise & love our children, even on the hard unglamorous days. As the saying goes “the days are long but the years are short”, thank you x

  104. Lucy Ball July 14, 2016 / 6:41 am

    Bloody love this poem! It rings true to every aspect of my parenting journey so far… Have shared, and voted.
    Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning.

  105. penny July 14, 2016 / 7:19 am

    Beautiful words. Brought smile to my face and also tears to my eyes.

  106. Katya July 14, 2016 / 12:51 pm

    How come you saw it, and my husband doesn’t see it ever????? Thank you for this <3

  107. Nicsx July 15, 2016 / 6:10 pm

    And people wonder why so many women want to stay childfree these days!

  108. Lilian Paterson July 15, 2016 / 7:45 pm

    Quite simply i like this, thank you xx

  109. Kate July 17, 2016 / 11:28 am

    I love this so much. I’m a single mum and rarely do I ever get the acknowledgement what I do is hard and lonely and empowering and scary all at the same time. Thank you both for putting some words to my experience.

  110. Sandi July 19, 2016 / 12:12 am

    After 10 years of being a mum and feeling frustrated and not really sure why….you summed it up perfectly in this letter. I am about to print it and hang it on my bathroom wall so I can read it every morning and remind myself that someone sees me! Thank you!

  111. Hala July 20, 2016 / 4:01 pm

    Thank you for writing this! It makes me think of the argument we often hear, that a mom’s job is the equivalent of a day job, yet it’s so much more than that, and it’s more than the 40 hours a week office job (which means couples should split the difference!). It also make me think of how rarely moms end up in pictures. Why is it we notice others and decide to preserve their precious moments, but they don’t do the same for us?

  112. Norma Walton July 21, 2016 / 11:41 am

    Oh so true…even when covered in poo…very well captured…wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything.

  113. out there July 22, 2016 / 3:58 am

    This made me weep. As it did the two friend I sent it on to. Thank you for capturing, so perfectly, what it is to be a mother of you children. Such a beautiful, isolating, tormenting, challenging, wonderful, heart-breaking and aching time.

  114. Juli Townsend August 3, 2016 / 11:40 am

    Beautifully simplistic, and powerful.
    I’m a grandmother now, and loving doing it all again.

  115. jane August 8, 2016 / 5:40 pm

    It struck a cord with me….
    My 16 year old daughter has profound and multiple learning difficulties so this is is still our life every day.

  116. Sianna August 24, 2016 / 9:43 pm

    My girls are 8 & 9 now, this made me think of my life as a single mum with 2 babies that never slept and very few people around. Was it written for a single mum? Those days were the hardest of my life, some days I would cry with exhaustion, others with loneliness, most days I would cry with being so overwhelmed at the sheer love i felt for them. Every minute I put in was worth it, and nobody ever saw, now we would never need anyone to see, we became 3 very independent ladies….. As long as we have each other.

  117. Tamar Pretorius September 7, 2016 / 8:29 pm

    What a beautiful piece of writing. I’ve been a full time mom for 24 years, I have two toddlers and four (thank God) grandchildren, and in all these years of doing exactly what you wrote about, I have never read anything more inspiring or encouraging. Your poem makes one very aware of the truth that although our task in this world is often scorned, seldom appreciated and badly paid, it is not only the most rewarding, but also probably the most important task that exists. And the best part is tha there is Somebody that sees. And that makes all the difference.

  118. Patricia Nelson September 8, 2016 / 4:29 am

    I felt these words and then re lived them again when my daughter had children. Mu eyes filled with tears, and my heart burst with pride.Please…Listen AND hear, Look AND see. Touch. AND feel, Respect , Appreciate,,Help, and LOVE , ALL those SPECIAL PEOPLE we take for granted, who give so much of themselves selflessly. Tirelessly, n lovingly BECAUSE they are PROUD TO BE A MOTHER,FATHER. thankYOU for being in my life my wonderful child, that has now grown up and got children if your OWN…..PRICELESS N PRECIOUS. LV one very grateful Mother, and Grandma xxx Pat xxx

  119. Joe Britton September 9, 2016 / 6:31 am

    Have just read this after it appeared on my Facebook feed. My children are 21 and 18, still getting me up at 3am as they come in from a night out, or need a lift home cos they are stranded somewhere! I loved this as motherhood and all it brings is a constant, no matter what era you had your children in. Thank you x

  120. Gemma J September 9, 2016 / 8:03 am

    As a new mum to a baby under one, I know that my hard work is seen just maybe not by who you might think. I’m so lucky to be able to exhaust myself looking after my child.

    If you think no one sees your hard work, they do. These women are amongst your friends, family and work colleagues, they see it and long for the opportunity to be just like you. You are their benchmark. They see you exhausted caring for your family. They see the lack of sleep, the difficulties you have, juggling everything you do and they long to be part of that. These women they really see all that you do. From gp visits to surgeries, fertility drug schedules, blood tests, waiting for results and disappointments, these women see you and they can’t wait to be just like you.

  121. Suzanne September 9, 2016 / 11:45 am

    I just bloody love this poem. It bought out all kinds of emotions. I loved it so much that I had to share it on Facebook. Nice writing 🙂

  122. Ann September 9, 2016 / 10:12 pm

    This has every emotion that all mothers go through but also full of hope, wonderment as we go from day to day. Thank you for these words. As a single mother you often think :is it worth all the hassles. My children have all grown to be awesome adults so must have done something right hey.

  123. Nat September 9, 2016 / 11:07 pm

    That’s one of the most heartfelt things I’ve read in such a long time ! It’s brilliant ! Literally sat here crying ! And smiling , I’m a new mum with a little girl and people have spoke about me behind my back because sometimes I have an odd night to myself and go out with friends and all I get is your out pissed , but yet they don’t see sometimes when I find it hard and I’m tiered and stressed an sit an cry ! Like I don’t deserve some time out and a break , I admire all the mums out there and what you’ve wrote is just great 💗

  124. BOC September 10, 2016 / 1:23 am

    Beautiful…….and what’s more is we don’t do it to be seen, don’t don’t do it to be appreciated, don’t do it for praise or reward…..we do it to be Mum – and I know that one day, maybe when my little one has little ones of their own, that’s when they’ll see how much i did for them, because I was their Mum and loved them no matter what

  125. Liezl Veiga September 10, 2016 / 6:21 am

    This is the best thing I have ever read! Thank you

  126. Dawn Audoire-Jones September 10, 2016 / 6:39 am

    All so very true as a mum of three I have been through it all . You never forget some of good some bad times but all special in their own way and ones I will treasure. Mums are not trained for this we just get on with what ever life throws at us and makes us stronger. A mothers love is never replaceable because it is never ending.

  127. Marthina September 10, 2016 / 7:15 am

    I’m sobbing

  128. Anne-Marie September 10, 2016 / 9:23 am

    Wow! This is simply the best and truest blog/poem I have ever read!!! Well done and thank you so much! Honestly touched my heart and it’s just beautifully written!
    Lotsa love Anne-Marie X

  129. Jenny Jacobs September 10, 2016 / 10:08 am

    Ha ha love it
    Crying again after reading it .like a mirror to so many
    I’m just back to work full time.
    One in reception started school and one who is one with the best childminder we could have ever wished for.
    Trying to keep it together and still have time to take it in before they’re grown.
    Cheers Mama xx

  130. Nell (the Pigeon Pair and Me) September 10, 2016 / 12:24 pm

    I’m just about to wave my youngest off to school for the first time, and this really resonates. Those early years are sooo hard – but they are worth it.

  131. Janet September 11, 2016 / 8:38 pm

    Wonderful

  132. David McLoughlin September 12, 2016 / 9:16 am

    I just posted the following text on Facebook. I read the poem attached to the link in your post. The poem arrested my attention and gave me new insights to the constant dedication a mother gives to her child and the demands that are made on her time and energy. Strangely enough, the subject for the poetry I will attend next week is ‘parenting’ may I have permission to read this poem to the group? All copyright will be protected and the author’s name cited. Thanks. D

  133. Alison Foy September 12, 2016 / 6:06 pm

    This piece is so poignant and beautifully written it brought tears to my eyes. I’m a new mum of some 5 weeks, whose journey to motherhood has been long and difficult. There were times when it seemed I’d never have a child of my own, but in my mid 40s, I finally made it to the end of a pregnancy. These early days are hard work which my partner doesn’t seem to appreciate, but I’m cherishing every moment with my miracle baby. After all, it seems that all too soon they will pass…

  134. rara bella bella September 12, 2016 / 8:46 pm

    so beautiful, tears <3 <3

  135. Becky September 12, 2016 / 11:45 pm

    Thank you for writing this! Just what I needed to read after my 7 year old woke in the most awful mood which turned into a massive melt down at 5:30am as I wouldn’t download a new game for him. My 2 year old decided to have the biggest hissy fit walking back from school drop off as I wouldn’t buy the $120 blue scooter in the toy shop window (she has the darn exact scooter in pink)!!! Anyhow, now sat with a strong cup of tea (wishing it was a strong Shiraz) and now smiling after this article
    Thank you ❤️

  136. Trish September 13, 2016 / 6:22 am

    My girls are grown now, into wonderful, beautiful amazing women and it was worth all of the times nobody saw.
    There were some very tough times but it was worth every second.

  137. Joe September 13, 2016 / 8:57 am

    Beautiful my life in a poem I have been blessed with 4 children
    Even though the younger days were so hard at times
    The hardest was leaving my eldest at university but also one of the proudest moments

  138. The Travelling Trini September 13, 2016 / 11:20 am

    This is wonderful, and absolutely SPOT ON. Thank you for writing this!

  139. Gemma September 13, 2016 / 8:24 pm

    I find it is always, “do you work?”. To which i feel ashamed to say no. What do you do then? Its as if saying you stay at home with your baby is a dirty word. Like you arent really doing anything of value. But if i paid a nanny to look after my child, the nannys job would be of value and classed as work. However if i do the same as the nanny for free and look after my own child them i just dossing at home. Thank you for writing this. It made me cry! Someone gets it. X

  140. Kim September 14, 2016 / 2:17 am

    Thank you so much for writing this both my children are grown and pursuing there lives and dreams. And I remember almost envy one one of those moments you shared. And I would do it all over again and again and again. Time goes fast but you will always cherish the moments and all the things you get to do. Because your a MOM

  141. Minari September 15, 2016 / 2:53 pm

    I really like this. Thanks for sharing

  142. Phoenix Rainez September 15, 2016 / 8:42 pm

    Beautifully written and expressed.
    Can I just say it never really ends either. You carry on doing these things regardless how old your children are but just in different forms and ways. Then the grandchildren come along and you start all over again. It really is a never ending circle 😉 but I wouldn’t trade those special moments and especially now I spend this time with my grandchildren ❤

  143. Lou September 16, 2016 / 7:38 pm

    Amazing. Kind of made me feel tearful. Thank you for writing that.

  144. Pauline September 17, 2016 / 2:26 am

    Just wanted to say thank you for writing this. My babies are 19 and 21 and there are times i feel useless and stupid, because they can take care of themselves (until they need me again for something). It reminded me of everything i have done for them nd how much I love my babies, even at this age!

  145. Rose September 17, 2016 / 4:12 pm

    Such lovely words and so true, time goes so quickly and my little ones are grown up with the eldest leaving for uni soon. Brought tears to my eyes.

  146. Lesley September 17, 2016 / 6:13 pm

    This made me well up (I think it’s tone newborn hormones in full flow!) So, so sweet and true xx

  147. Kim Jones September 17, 2016 / 10:06 pm

    I loved this, I relate to this so much. My children are 7 and 4, I went back to paid work, part time work a year ago which I love (and is a million times easier than being at home with kids!). I loved my 6 years at home bringing my babies up til they had to go to school, yet I experienced all of the madness mentioned above!

    Reading this piece has been like a trip down memory lane of my life for the past 7 years, full of highs and lows, most days wishing I’d got a bit more sleep but hey ho!

    I never usually comment but just loved this piece so much, thank you.

  148. Natnite September 18, 2016 / 3:13 pm

    I’m a blubbering mess. Wow. Big hugs to all moms. And friends of moms, who help wipe up beans x 💟

  149. Sarah St Vincent Welch September 18, 2016 / 10:32 pm

    My boy is 21 now. This poem made me weep. A recognition of all that work and I only had one. Thank you.

  150. Cathy September 19, 2016 / 7:56 am

    this should so be a short film ❤️

  151. Hatty Hanna September 19, 2016 / 12:04 pm

    This just made me burst into tears! I am the person you describe so accurately. And the next person who asks me when I’m thinking of going back to work gets a punch in the throat. 🙂

  152. Mom South of Manila September 20, 2016 / 6:46 am

    Thank you… all the way from the South of Manila, Philippines. 🙂

    Hugs and high-fives to all moms everywhere!

  153. Donna September 22, 2016 / 7:15 pm

    This is so beautiful. So real. I am sobbing.

  154. Rakhi September 29, 2016 / 10:39 pm

    I loved this and had tears in my eyes too! I work 4 days a week on top of all that and have two kids and often I find myself thinking does anyone notice 😥😥

  155. Ami (mymummyspam) October 3, 2016 / 3:33 pm

    This is beautiful! I needed to read this today after an awful night with a poorly toddler and then having a full day of hellish work to get through. Thank you so much for sharing

  156. Emma (Upside Mum) October 4, 2016 / 9:10 pm

    So true. Beautiful words. The hidden face of motherhood. Thanks for sharing!

  157. Mummy Maggear October 5, 2016 / 8:55 am

    Wow, what an accurate synopsis of our careers as mothers. There isn’t one mother alive that wouldn’t relate to this. Every word of it is true.
    We all make the choice to become a mother and I know we’re all privileged to have our beautiful children but you are right…… The ignorance of how we get through our day is ever unnoticed. I get “Why are you so stressed? You’re not working yet!” These are PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE THEIR OWN CHILDREN! They don’t qualify to pass comment as they know nothing about the subject. I wouldn’t pass comment on the job of a plumber, an electrician, a builder, a postman, a mechanic, a fireman, a prim minister (well maybe this one). As I don’t qualify to know how their job is done. They simply have no idea.
    This is brilliant and I’m really glad I read it.

  158. Schezel October 5, 2016 / 3:46 pm

    That was so beautiful. Thank you. I needed that this morning. Much love.

  159. Kat Scott October 5, 2016 / 9:09 pm

    It still rings true… even after mine are 35 and 36…. watching them go thru the same stuff with their little ones!

  160. Mimi October 6, 2016 / 4:40 am

    My mom sent this to me. I finally get to be a stay-at-home mom and my boys are 18, 5, n 4. I feel like I missed out my oldest cuz I was busy working so we could just survive. He’s went without for his whole childhood. I wish I could spoil and love him up like I can with my little boys now and now I don’t know how to get that connection back with him.
    I’m so enjoying my little ones and all their energy, imagination and love. My youngest is behaving much better now that I’m home and he only has half day school days so we get to spend the morning together.
    Nobody saw me be mom all day, all night, everyday and have to work…
    Thank you for your words…

  161. Pippy October 6, 2016 / 8:32 am

    Beautiful words and touching too!! I’ve done all that with my two children and doing it all over again with my grandson, at the same time as running my own small business, being disabled with crippling pain, training and studying and trying to keep house containing four adults and a baby, 3 dogs and 3 cats – guess who’s the only one able to do any of the housework? And all for free…. why? Because I love them all… for my sins xxx

    True words – I can’t wait to get pissed again with my bestie but family commitments don’t really allow for a social life!!

    I had my kids in my early twenties and believed that I’d get my life back at 40 x how wrong… I was a grandmother at 41. Despite all the talks and education with my daughter!!!

    I wouldn’t be without any of them now though… I just have re-evaluate – maybe I’ll get my life back at 60? Or when my daughter moves out… whichever happens sooner xx

    Happy parenting and happier grand parenting xxx

  162. Kirsty king October 6, 2016 / 8:36 am

    My sister really should have warned me that I would sob big tears when I read these words and I would not have read it in the corner of cafe Nero!! Absolutely beautiful words. I sobbed the most at the wind the bobbin bit 😂

  163. Katie October 6, 2016 / 10:44 am

    OMG this is amazing, how cleverly written and so very true. Brilliant x

  164. Jeanine October 6, 2016 / 4:32 pm

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can’t tell you how much I needed to read this today. I’ve been nursing a teething toddler and a sick husband for the past week while also desperately trying to apply for jobs. I’m pretty sure the only thing keeping me alive right now is coffee. So, yes, thank you for this.

  165. Kat October 6, 2016 / 6:03 pm

    Absolutely love this! Just made me think of every mum I know and everything we do and this crazy whirlwind of parenting!

  166. Bridget October 6, 2016 / 9:06 pm

    Sitting here with tears streaming down because I am reading something that expresses my feelings/experience with such accuracy and clarity albeit some 30+ years after the fact my babies are full grown now in their 30s; my baby has a baby of her own; I’m a grandma
    Yet reading this I was transported back in time xxxx

  167. Esme October 6, 2016 / 9:31 pm

    What a brilliant poem! Fantastic sentiment (you put in words why I am a SAHM mum right now although some don’t understand why I chose that), and such familiar detail of my life, and beautifully written too. Thank you.

  168. Lisa October 7, 2016 / 7:56 am

    Ace. So good. So beautiful. Voted for you.

    Cheers for that x

  169. Petite Words October 7, 2016 / 9:41 am

    This is absolutely lovely. So true, so warm x

  170. tab October 7, 2016 / 11:04 am

    Made me cry x

  171. CAROLE ZAZA October 7, 2016 / 11:40 am

    Hello, I loved your blog. Thank you because it brought back so many memories. All of the things you mentioned happened to me a long time ago but, I wanted to say that you blog has put so much into perspective for my two daughters, each with two babies, and they passed this to each other and on to me.
    I wanted to vote for you but I can’t find this blog on the list. Please direct me.

  172. Meg Avon October 7, 2016 / 12:44 pm

    I puddled. They are teenagers now, but damn, I miss it.

  173. Karen October 7, 2016 / 2:38 pm

    What beautiful word’s to read, feel & remember that was you x

  174. Wishingonastar October 7, 2016 / 3:09 pm

    I saw you. I saw you a million times.
    And wished it was me. Snot, poo, tantrums and all.
    Keep doing amazing things you lucky ladies. People do notice the great things you do.

  175. laura October 7, 2016 / 6:37 pm

    i cried while reading this. chest shaking sobs. raising children can be isolating. you can lose yourself. you can feel unseen and unappreciated. reading this, i felt validated. when your kids are small, there are days and days when you might not feel any rewards for your labor, and then there are days and days when their little smiles are all you need to feel like it’s all worth it. but it’s still very often a hard and thankless job where the rewards come 20 years later when those babies are grown and they say they love you, they say they had a great childhood, and they like hanging out with you.

  176. Gemma October 8, 2016 / 2:17 am

    That was really something I neededto read, I’ve really been feeling like crap, like no one was noticingwhat I was doing, but now I feel a little less alone!

  177. Roline October 12, 2016 / 4:22 pm

    This is beautiful. Thank you. I remember those days so well. Now that I’m back at work I miss it. My heart breaks a little everyday that I can’t be home for my girls. Even though they are older now.(7 & 13) I still want to be there when they get home from school and welcome them with warm hugs. I wish money was unnecessary in order to provide a decent life for our family.

  178. Dara October 13, 2016 / 5:03 am

    Beautifully written. I bawled the first time I read this, it was so true. Thank you for sharing what so many of us experience! Love & light, Mama!!!

  179. Gabby October 13, 2016 / 7:35 am

    A big thank you mumbled proudly through tears. I love this and it is so true. Thank you!

  180. Laurashreeve October 14, 2016 / 9:35 am

    This is beautiful and made me cry and cry!
    The poster above who pointed out that the baby/toddler sees is so right though. And every little piece of care they see and feel goes into their hearts for ever.
    Thank you so much for sharing this.

  181. Nathania October 14, 2016 / 10:38 am

    I love this post! It really is so true, every word! Its reassuring to know all the other mums out there are facing the same thing and understand

  182. A Kelley October 15, 2016 / 4:48 am

    Wonderful words. I have friends that are/have been SAHM and I know it’s not easy. I have two girls aged 2.5 years and almost 3 months and wish we could afford for me to stay with them. We are very lucky to have my mom to keep them.

  183. Vida ariff October 17, 2016 / 11:51 pm

    thank you. this made my day.

  184. Kristen October 21, 2016 / 1:46 am

    I was ugly crying during that read. So true. *sigh* Thanks!

  185. Glenda November 30, 2016 / 12:48 pm

    I see you in me

  186. Jo Hutchison December 15, 2016 / 11:37 pm

    This is first class and spot on. Thank-you for writing something that captures what so many of us are – apparently – feeling and thinking over and over and over again, but who are so busy losing the will most of the time that the thought of trying to muster the creative energy to articulate what you have managed to do – so poetically and magnificently – always remains just that. A thought. Or perhaps a wish. My hero! Thank-you.

  187. Kaye Stephens January 6, 2017 / 10:36 pm

    Yes, your children saw you. What you sow you shall reap.
    When your children are grown and have children of their own. Your amazing grandchildren. The hard stuff is forgotten. Just joy and memories you will laugh at
    It is hard. I am 70. I am a single mother of 3, now grown, responsible, beautiful parents. Whom I have a very good relationship with all of them plus their children. We all get together regularly so cousins grow up knowing and loving each other. What I teally wanted to say was with out friends I think my life would have been twice as hard reach out to your friends and families.
    I see the Dads in my family who work at really responsible jobs but come home love their wives and love to help with the tough stuff with the kids reach out communicate tell them how you feel so they know what you need. Goodluck.

  188. Kerry Bowe January 6, 2017 / 11:26 pm

    My sister just sent this to me on FB and now I’m in floods.
    I was widowed three years ago this month. Left to love and care for a grieving four year old daughter and six month old son. They are now almost 7 and a VERY active 3.5.
    It has been the hardest thing I have ever done and I am so tired: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

    Thank you for this; so much resonated; I actually have a car full of sick waiting to be cleaned up in the morning after my son was ill on the return school run. But, I know I’m not alone and that many of us feel like this…I just sometimes need a reminder. x

  189. Paul Clarke January 7, 2017 / 1:19 pm

    Saw this on a mutual friends Facebook page brilliant had to repost for my amazing wife and mother to our 6 year old daughter Poppy-Rose….. ……… Like all kids can make you wanna raise a glass 🍷 from time to time

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